Safety and College Kids
Lately, I've had some really frank talks with a few UCR parents about their concerns for their kids' safety. I can't blame them. Thinking back on my own experiences at Cal and abroad, all I can say is that I wouldn't let a kid of mine do those things. If my parents had had any inkling of just how dangerous it was in Berkeley, they would never have let me go there.
The good news is that it's not nearly as dangerous at UCR. But you have to educate your kids without making them (or yourself) completely paranoid. Yes, this is a delicate balancing act perhaps better performed by someone not related. Have your kids take a self-defense class (guys, too). Women should take a self-defense class that is gender-specific. Of couse, the major points (which are the same world-wide) are 1) be aware 2) use the buddy system 3) don't lose control over yourself (ie., beware of drugs and alcohol--see rule #1).
Truth be told, you can't always tell who is dangerous even when you think you know someone well. I had a student the last year that I taught at UCR whom I believed that I knew quite well. He was extremely hard-working and very religious. All of his essays would fall back on the finality of Christianity as the ultimate evidence. All very nice and well, but problematic when grammar and vocabulary problems make the thesis statement hard to follow in the first place. He came to my office hours and stayed for very lengthy discussions. Well, the following year, I read his name in the newspaper. He'd been arrested for a series of assaults on women. I couldn't believe it. Then, he confessed and went to prison for a while. I had to admit, when I thought about it, all the pieces came together. He needed his faith to keep himself under control, and when he lost that control, the confession and punishment fit in with his belief system.
You're probably thinking, yes, but how do I keep my child from falling prey to someone's lower nature? Again, teach them to be aware. When moving them into a dorm or other place, have them walk around with you during the day and also in the evening. Tell them to look for problem spots to avoid. And this isn't true just for the women. There was a serial rapist who targeted men on and near campus while I was at Berkeley.
Of course, I have funny stories, too. I'll put those in another entry for when you need a break from too much worry.
The good news is that it's not nearly as dangerous at UCR. But you have to educate your kids without making them (or yourself) completely paranoid. Yes, this is a delicate balancing act perhaps better performed by someone not related. Have your kids take a self-defense class (guys, too). Women should take a self-defense class that is gender-specific. Of couse, the major points (which are the same world-wide) are 1) be aware 2) use the buddy system 3) don't lose control over yourself (ie., beware of drugs and alcohol--see rule #1).
Truth be told, you can't always tell who is dangerous even when you think you know someone well. I had a student the last year that I taught at UCR whom I believed that I knew quite well. He was extremely hard-working and very religious. All of his essays would fall back on the finality of Christianity as the ultimate evidence. All very nice and well, but problematic when grammar and vocabulary problems make the thesis statement hard to follow in the first place. He came to my office hours and stayed for very lengthy discussions. Well, the following year, I read his name in the newspaper. He'd been arrested for a series of assaults on women. I couldn't believe it. Then, he confessed and went to prison for a while. I had to admit, when I thought about it, all the pieces came together. He needed his faith to keep himself under control, and when he lost that control, the confession and punishment fit in with his belief system.
You're probably thinking, yes, but how do I keep my child from falling prey to someone's lower nature? Again, teach them to be aware. When moving them into a dorm or other place, have them walk around with you during the day and also in the evening. Tell them to look for problem spots to avoid. And this isn't true just for the women. There was a serial rapist who targeted men on and near campus while I was at Berkeley.
Of course, I have funny stories, too. I'll put those in another entry for when you need a break from too much worry.
posted by Alma Jill Dizon, Riverside Realtor @ 10:50 PM
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